Those among you who’ve recently entered parenthood might be familiar with a popular programme called Lazy Town. If not, I’ll spell it out for you. Basically, a gang of obnoxious young tearaways spend their free time running around, screaming and generally doing what little sods do. Naturally, one of the locals takes exception to the uproarious cacophony and takes it upon himself to bring the noise levels down, usually by executing such ill-conceived plans as disguising himself as a pirate or falsely diagnosing the children with degenerative illnesses (yes, that actually happened). More often than not, though, his schemes fall flat on their face, prompting an Icelandic ex-gymnast to beat seven shades of faecal matter out of him.
Nostatic Software might not serve as advocates for such extreme measures, but their ultimate goals appear to be the same. Their newly-released Android game, Quiet, Please!, sees players assuming the role of a school pupil who, having just returned home from a stressful day of impromptu maths tests, undercooked canteen ravioli and Chinese burns, is looking forward to a few hours’ peace and quiet. The problem? Their family seems intent on being a rambunctious horde of ne’er-do-wells.
With drastic times necessitating drastic measures, the pupil must bring an end to the chaotic aural dystopia by culling the problem at its source. Turning off televisions? Distracting one’s siblings with remote controlled cars? Sabotaging lawnmowers? Sure, if that’s what it takes for a small dose of tranquility. Incapacitating the neighbour, tying him to a chair and holding him to ransom? Probably not, but that’s what DLC is for, eh?